In Part 1 on divorcing a narcissist, we discussed how narcissists use their charisma and confidence to attract people. In many cases, these “relationships” turn romantic, with many eventually leading to marriage. Only after the vows does a narcissist reveal their true nature as an arrogant and controlling person who views their partner as a possession.
Part 2 will cover the difficulties of divorcing a narcissist. With proper planning, a realistic perspective and reliable legal protection, spouses can mitigate the worst of a narcissist’s intentions and move on with their life.
Rules do not apply to narcissists
The first thing to understand about narcissists is that they do not believe that rules apply to them. Laws, cultural norms and standards of basic human respect do not apply to narcissists, so do not expect it from them. Narcissists will:
- Withhold important financial documents
- Refuse to negotiate
- Reject legal counsel
- Defy court orders
- Use children as manipulation tools
Ultimately, narcissists will see the divorce as a competition to win and at any cost.
What can a spouse do?
Spouses are not without options, however. With the help of legal counsel familiar with California’s divorce laws, spouses can employ a few tactics to keep narcissists at bay and their sanity intact:
- Cash and credit: A narcissist will use any tactic available to get what they want out of a divorce. A narcissist will not balk at extending the court battle to exhaust their spouse and their finances. Spouses will need a large store of cash on hand and maintain a good credit score to fund the divorce and secure the loans they may need.
- Organize the paperwork: A narcissist will hinder every process they can, including hiding important financial paperwork. Before filing for divorce, spouses should track down copies of tax returns, business statements, pay stubs, bank statements, investment portfolios, pension plan paperwork, wills, trusts, insurance policies, debts, deeds, partnerships, employment records, asset appraisals, and a complete list of personal property.
People divorcing a narcissist stand a better chance of protecting their rights, property and children alongside a local attorney who understands California’s complex divorce process.