Getting a divorce isn’t all negative: 9 positive aspects

| Nov 10, 2020 | Divorce

If you’re considering divorce, you’re not alone. The pandemic and all the related stress has revealed fissures in many relationships. You may be thinking you’ll try to get through the holidays and then see what happens.

 

Each marriage and divorce is its own story. While divorce is a last resort for most people, there can be some positive facets of the dissolution of your relationship. As you weigh your options, consider these nine potentially positive aspects of divorce:

  1. You get to make independent decisions. You may be surprised at how many little decisions you make where you have to consider your spouse. More important, you will be able to make big decisions on your own, which can be freeing.
  2. You can acknowledge you have changed. If you wouldn’t make the same choices today that you made as a young person, divorce may be a way to get back on track.
  3. You can teach your kids that there is a way out. You may be staying married to benefit the kids, but what if your arguments and misery make them miserable, too? Instead, show your kids that there are options to overcome what feels like permanent unhappiness.
  4. You can model healthier behavior. Divorce is an option that can allow you to build up better relationship behavior and demonstrate it for your kids.
  5. You can grow into your true self. A bad relationship can be so confining that you feel bad about yourself. Divorce can allow you space to learn who you really are and make plans for the future.
  6. Divorce can make you stronger. You can survive and thrive on your own. A miserable marriage may be keeping you from realizing that.
  7. Divorce can be liberating. Once you’re free of the daily stress and anxiety of being stuck in a bad relationship, you may find you have enormous energy to spend making your life better. You no longer have to worry about changing your spouse or yourself.
  8. Divorce can be hopeful. It may not seem like it in the beginning, but many people find that getting a divorce gives them permission to try out new things, a new life and a new identity.
  9. It could lead to a happy ending. Without the weight of misery, you can do the self-work you need to become ready for a new relationship. You may find that you can befriend your ex and co-parent positively with them. Meanwhile, you are free to find new love.

If you are ready to take concrete steps toward ending your marriage, talk to a caring, empathetic divorce attorney.